A Milestone

Today my wife and I celebrate a milestone that we've never achieved before: We saw our baby's heartbeat on an ultrasound. It was awesome. Tears came to my eyes as I was overjoyed at the site. The last ultrasound we had was not good as it confirmed that our child was dead. We have to move on and that will be a tiny bit easier now that we've seen and heard the heartbeat.

G*d is good.

Cheers,
Bill

Daddy To Be...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I'm actually surprised that my account is still here. I was also surprised that Google had taken it over. Then again, maybe I wasn't too surprised.

Two days ago my wife told me that we're going to have a baby. I am so excited that I cannot sit straight. However, I'm a bit worried, not about the normal things soon-to-be parents worry about. You see, this will be our fourth pregnancy. The first three ended in a miscarriage. Each one has taken its toll on both my wife and I. The last one hurt very much as we had, pretty much, given up on ever having a child. We are over 40 and statistics are not favorable. We are praying that G*d will let us have a healthy, normal baby. If you are a praying person, please pray for us. G*d knows who you'll be praying for, so our real name is not needed.

I believe that life begins at conception. This means that we have 3 children waiting for us in Heaven when we finally die.

I think it is interesting how quickly one can fall in love with someone or something. "Love at first sight" DOES exist, it's love after YEARS that is the real trick. In a few of days (Jan 28, 2008) my wife and I will have been together for 25 years. I love her more each day that passes. I tell her that "I love you, more than I loved you yesterday but not as much as I'll love you tomorrow." We started dating when I was 15; I’m 40 now.

Along this same topic, I fell in love with each of my unborn children. Sadly, I have not met the first three but pray that I will know and watch the current one grow up to be a strong G*d loving man or woman. I'm not blind to the idea that I may not see my grandchildren as by the time our child is 20, I'll be 60. This is not ancient by any means, but it seems that couples don't have kids as early as they did when I got married. I actually think that 20 could be too early for some people. I'd rather them wait until 25 or so. I think they should wait until they have been married for at least 5 years. I think this gives the newlywed couple time to learn each other and to get used to one another. Let's face it, you put two independent people together and fireworks can erupt.

The point I was shooting for was this, I hate it when some view a miscarriage as something akin to a cold or something else fairly simple. They don't realize that when we saw that little stick that said "Pregnant" we are ecstatic! In the few days that follow we've imagined our child as both male and female. We've seen them go through several stages of their little lives, their first steps, their first birthday, and their first day at school, even their graduation from high school or even college. That little stick indicates a LIFE. So, when we had the miscarriage, all of that was lost. Lost was the little girl that ran into my arms when I come home from work, lost was my son's first baseball game... all of it, lost. So, should you Mr. or Ms Reader, have a friend that has had a miscarriage, don't dismiss it. They have lost a life and will never be the same. Sure, as with any loss they will eventually move on, but they have lost a child. It will take some time. Do not tell them "you can try again". This isn't a puppy that can be replaced with a quick run to the pet store. Let them grieve, let them cry.

We aren't going to have to go through that again. I'm staying positive that we will have a healthy child (or children if we have twins). We will be able to see their first steps, their first birthday, and their first day of school and beyond.

Words and meanings

Words and meanings….

I think it is interesting how words get their meanings.  For example: “crap” or “crapper.”  Sentences like “My finances have gone down the crapper.”  How did this type of meaning get attached to “crap” or “crapper?”  For those who do not know, the indoor toilet was invented by a Thomas Crapper (true!!).  We use names in place of adverbs all the time, i.e. “Going Postal.”  So, I was wondering what _IF_ Mr. Crapper designed something different, something that had a better meaning attached to it.  It would mean exactly the opposite of what it means now.  A compliment would be “Honey, you look like crap.”  “Why thank you, dear, it took me forever to find this dress.”

Same can be said for other words, words like: Gay, Fag/Faggot, and Queer.  How is it that these words now have a “bad” meaning associated with it?  “Gay” used to mean “Happy” or “cheerful” not Homosexual.  To say “I’m gay” or “I’m having a gay time” meant that you were happy or enjoying yourself.  “Queer” is almost the same.  “Queer” was another way of saying “different” or “strange.”  Read The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien and you will hear the word “queer” in this fashion. Another word that you’ll hear is “faggot.”  Look it up in a dictionary, “faggot” is a bundle of sticks.  When I was younger, I knew this but didn’t really understand it.  When I read The Lord of the Rings I realized that it’s a small torch type of bundle, like a bundle of matches used to start a fire, the “flaming faggot.”  Not too sure how “fag” came to be slang for a cigarette, but that’s what it was.


It’s interesting… what will the future hold for our words??

Cheers,
Bill

Head banging

Head banging….

So, I’m sitting here in my cube at work listening to the best band in the world, RUSH, just bobbing my head to the music when it hits me that I’m almost 40 AND I’m acting like some groupie at a rock concert.  This makes me wonder; when I’m 50, this song (or groups of songs) will make me bang my head, will I??  When I’m 60, I’ll want to bang my head to the music… will I???  Will someone sitting next to me while I’m playing air-drums and banging my head at 60 think “You go grandpa!” or “Someone call an ambulance, this old man his having a seizure!”

I wonder about stuff like that.  I’m almost 40 and I still can get caught up in a FPS (First Person Shooter game) and spend hours playing.  I’m in a gaming clan that the average age is in the low-30’s.  Am I SUPPOSED to be acting like this at my age?!?!?!  If not, WHAT AM I to act like??  I’m an educated man, not overly intelligent, but educated (2 BS degrees and 1 Masters degree), so I ask: Do others like me act like me?

Cheers,Bill (Prince)

Domestic Spying

Domestic Spying….

I think it’s interesting that the Democratic Party thinks the NSA and other branches of the government have nothing better to do with their time than to sit and listen in to Aunt Mary reciting her recipe for banana bread.  Get real people.  The only people that were affected by this were contacts linked to terrorism, phone numbers found in cell phones of captured terrorists and the like.  Hundreds of millions of phone calls occur every day; the chance of your phone call getting listened in on is very remote.  Unless you use some nice key words that would spark the computer to kick out your transmission, you have nothing to worry about.  As a matter of fact, if you’re a law abiding citizen, you don’t have anything to worry about any way.  According to a book by Dan Brown (Digital Fortress) Wall Street was targeted for attack that was thwarted by these types of interceptions (http://www.danbrown.com/secrets/digital_fortress/story_behind_story.html).  I think it’s a small price to pay to live with the freedoms we all take for granted.  Especially if the government can catch these kinds of plots BEFORE they come to fruition.

My First Post

Hmmm..... Not too sure what I should write here. I'm sure in the future I'll blather on and on about what's bother me or what has irritated me or some other piece of nonsense. I'll probably start off with my weight loss goal.

I'm a tall guy, I've been blessed with the gift of height. I'm 6 foot tall, while I don't think that's "all that" I've been told it's kinda tall. My dad it 6'2". I've always looked up to him and will continue to do so even when he's shorter than I (due to age).

Also, I'm a big guy. I'm currently just under 300 pounds. I've been told I hold it well because I'm tall (see previous paragraph). I've wondered if people look at me and think "damn, that dude is huge. How did he let himself get that big." Well, for the record, I didn't just wake up one day and had gained 100 lbs. It's been a gradual thing over the last 20 years. I don't WANT to be this big. I'm now doing something about it. I've lost 35 lbs since August 1st, 2005. My goal is to get down to 200 lbs. That sounds big, but I think I'd look like a stick figure if I got smaller. Would/will I go under 200?? Who knows. I'll just have to see what I look like when I hit that mark.

I will tell you that I'm not a fat guy that wonders how he got that way. I got this way from sitting on my butt and enjoying ice cream! I LOVE, LOVE, ice cream. I used to sit down and watch TV and kill half of a half-gallon of the stuff on a regular basis. I know (and have always known) that calories in - calories burned = weight gain or loss. I just didn't weigh myself. And since it was a gradual increase, I didn't pay it too much attention. I'd notice that my pants had gotten tighter, so I'd just go buy some new pants. I wished I had a habit of weighing myself, if I had, maybe I wouldn't be this big. I could see that I'm pushing another 10 lbs heavier and cut back for awhile until I'd dropped the extra. Maybe, but only God knows for sure.

Well, I guess that's enough for an initial post.

Cheers,
Bill