Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Daddy To Be...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I'm actually surprised that my account is still here. I was also surprised that Google had taken it over. Then again, maybe I wasn't too surprised.

Two days ago my wife told me that we're going to have a baby. I am so excited that I cannot sit straight. However, I'm a bit worried, not about the normal things soon-to-be parents worry about. You see, this will be our fourth pregnancy. The first three ended in a miscarriage. Each one has taken its toll on both my wife and I. The last one hurt very much as we had, pretty much, given up on ever having a child. We are over 40 and statistics are not favorable. We are praying that G*d will let us have a healthy, normal baby. If you are a praying person, please pray for us. G*d knows who you'll be praying for, so our real name is not needed.

I believe that life begins at conception. This means that we have 3 children waiting for us in Heaven when we finally die.

I think it is interesting how quickly one can fall in love with someone or something. "Love at first sight" DOES exist, it's love after YEARS that is the real trick. In a few of days (Jan 28, 2008) my wife and I will have been together for 25 years. I love her more each day that passes. I tell her that "I love you, more than I loved you yesterday but not as much as I'll love you tomorrow." We started dating when I was 15; I’m 40 now.

Along this same topic, I fell in love with each of my unborn children. Sadly, I have not met the first three but pray that I will know and watch the current one grow up to be a strong G*d loving man or woman. I'm not blind to the idea that I may not see my grandchildren as by the time our child is 20, I'll be 60. This is not ancient by any means, but it seems that couples don't have kids as early as they did when I got married. I actually think that 20 could be too early for some people. I'd rather them wait until 25 or so. I think they should wait until they have been married for at least 5 years. I think this gives the newlywed couple time to learn each other and to get used to one another. Let's face it, you put two independent people together and fireworks can erupt.

The point I was shooting for was this, I hate it when some view a miscarriage as something akin to a cold or something else fairly simple. They don't realize that when we saw that little stick that said "Pregnant" we are ecstatic! In the few days that follow we've imagined our child as both male and female. We've seen them go through several stages of their little lives, their first steps, their first birthday, and their first day at school, even their graduation from high school or even college. That little stick indicates a LIFE. So, when we had the miscarriage, all of that was lost. Lost was the little girl that ran into my arms when I come home from work, lost was my son's first baseball game... all of it, lost. So, should you Mr. or Ms Reader, have a friend that has had a miscarriage, don't dismiss it. They have lost a life and will never be the same. Sure, as with any loss they will eventually move on, but they have lost a child. It will take some time. Do not tell them "you can try again". This isn't a puppy that can be replaced with a quick run to the pet store. Let them grieve, let them cry.

We aren't going to have to go through that again. I'm staying positive that we will have a healthy child (or children if we have twins). We will be able to see their first steps, their first birthday, and their first day of school and beyond.


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